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An Uncomplicated Life: A Father's Memoir of His Exceptional Daughter, by Paul Daugherty
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A father’s exhilarating and funny love letter to his daughter with Down syndrome whose vibrant and infectious approach to life has something to teach all of us about how we can better live our own.
Jillian Daugherty was born with Down syndrome. The day they brought her home from the hospital, her parents, Paul and Kerry, were flooded with worry and uncertainty, but also overwhelming love, which they channeled to “the job of building the better Jillian.” While their daughter had special needs, they refused to allow her to grow up needy—“Expect, Don’t Accept” became their mantra. Little did they know how ready Jillian was to meet their challenge.
Paul tells stories from Jillian’s mischievous childhood and moves to her early adulthood, tracing her journey to find happiness and purpose in her adult life, sharing endearing anecdotes as well as stories about her inspiring triumphs. Having graduated from high school and college, Jillian now works to support herself, and has met the love of her life and her husband-to-be, Ryan.
In An Uncomplicated Life, the parent learns as much about life from the child as the child does from the parent. Through her unmitigated love for others, her sparkling charisma, and her boundless capacity for joy, Jillian has inspired those around her to live better and more fully. The day Jillian was born, Paul says, was the last bad day. As he lovingly writes, “Jillian is a soul map of our best intentions”—a model of grace, boundless joy, and love for all of us.
- Sales Rank: #425278 in Books
- Brand: William Morrow Company
- Published on: 2015-03-17
- Released on: 2015-03-17
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.25" h x 1.21" w x 5.50" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 384 pages
- William Morrow Company
Review
“Raw, real, touching and poignant--everything a memoir should be.” (Huffington Post)
“An expressive, nostalgic series of memories of living life with a special needs child.” (Kirkus)
“Affecting. ... This feel-good memoir will appeal to all parents of children with special needs.” (Booklist)
From the Back Cover
A father's exhilarating and inspiring love letter to his daughter with Down syndrome, whose vibrant and infectious approach can teach us all how to live a little better
"Jillian was born October 17, 1989. It was the last bad day."
Jillian Daugherty was born with Down syndrome. The day her parents, Paul and Kerry, brought her home from the hospital, they were flooded with worry and uncertainty, but also with overwhelming love, which they channeled to "the job of building the better Jillian." They knew their daughter had special needs, but they refused to have her grow up needy. They were resolved that Jillian's potential would not be limited by preconceptions of who she was or what she could be.
In this charming and often heart-stirring book, Paul tells stories about Jillian making her way through the world of her backyard and neighborhood, going to school in a "normal" classroom, learning to play soccer and ride a bike. As she grows older, he traces her journey to find happiness and purpose in her adult life, including vignettes about her inspiring triumphs and the guardian angels—teachers, neighbors, friends—who believed in Jillian and helped her become the exceptional young woman she is today.
In An Uncomplicated Life, the parent learns as much about life from the child as the child does from the parent. Being with Jillian, Paul discovered the importance of every moment and the power of the human spirit—how we are each put here to benefit the other. Through her unmitigated love for others, her sparkling charisma, and her boundless capacity for joy, Jillian has inspired those around her to live better and more fully. As Paul writes, "Jillian is a soul map of our best intentions," a model of grace, happiness, and infectious enthusiasm. She embraces all that she is, all that she has—"I love my life. I just love my life," she says.
In her uncomplicated life, we see the possibility, the hope, and the beauty of our own.
About the Author
Paul Daugherty has been a sports columnist for the Cincinnati Enquirer since 1994. He has covered nearly every major American sporting event, as well as five Summer Olympic Games. He is the author of Fair Game, a collection of his sports columns, and coauthor of books with Chad Johnson and Johnny Bench. He blogs daily at The Morning Line on Cincinnati.com. He lives in Loveland, Ohio, with his wife, Kerry.
Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
A Triumph of the Human Spirit!
By John T. Richardson
One of the things that truly touch my soul these days is the triumph of the human spirit. I am finding that as I have become an "OG" (which followers of Paul's column will know means an "old guy"), watching or even hearing about people accomplishing things that others, or perhaps they themselves, thought highly unlikely or even impossible, brings tears to my eyes while lifting me up at the same time. It can be as simple as a victory in an athletic event, or someone lending a helping hand to a complete stranger. Paul Daugherty's latest book, An Uncomplicated Life: A Fathers Memoir of His Exceptional Daughter, provides so many of those moments that define the joy of life itself. The story is not without moments of sadness, frustration, and even of anger, but the overall feelings that it left me with were joy, pride and hope!
I have a daughter. She does not have Down Syndrome as does Paul's daughter Jillian, in fact she does not have a disability of any kind. However, I still related to a number of things such as the, "Oh my god, my little girl is growing up and doesn't need me anymore" moments. I have also felt the sadness at the times when my daughter would come home after sitting alone at lunch or feeling like she had no friends. My daughter has also been told that there were certain things in her life for which she would not be well suited (like basketball at 5'4" and about 115 lbs.-she too proved them wrong buy the way!). My point being that even if you don't have a child with a disability, you will relate to so much of this book. I also believe that even if you don't have children, Jillian's story will provide you with so many of the same special moments that it did me. It is that good. It is that inspiring.
For me there are really two stories running concurrently in this book. The first is Paul and Kerry's struggle with and the ultimate acceptance of Jillian's disability and what it would mean for their lives. What do you do when your whole life suddenly has been turned upside down? Why did this happen to you? We often wonder in life "What did I do to deserve this?" "Why did God do this to me?". While it was impossible at the time, Paul, Kerry and their son Kelly, years later came to understand that maybe God did this for them, that Jillian was their gift to help them (and anyone who was to become a part of Jillian's life), learn what life was really about.
Most of us have so many complications in our lives, and more often than not those complications are self-inflicted. Work, home-life, other inter-personal relationships and our "goals" in life, all come with strings attached, conditions if you will. Typically these complications are a result of fear-fear of love not returned, fear of losing something and fear that we are not good enough. I think that the Daugherty family was given a gift. They were blessed with a child who interacts without strings, one who loves unconditionally and who sees the good in everything and everyone - even today as a fully grown, mature and absolutely lovely young lady. Jillian's life more full of love than fear. Most of us, I suspect, cannot say the same.
This is a story of Paul and Kerry and their tireless effort to urge the people who came in contact with Jillian, not to just look at her, but to see her, Jillian, as an individual capable of all the same feelings and emotions as the rest of us. They fought hard to make certain that those close to Jillian helped her to expect that she could achieve the many of the things that any other child could achieve. They fought almost daily so that the Loveland City School System didn't just accept the systematic limitations prescribed for those with cognitive disabilities and file them away, but that they teach Jillian along with all the other children, in the same classrooms, to learn, to push herself and to expect more of herself than did the majority of the world around her.
But this is also the story of Jillian, Jillian The Magnificent (JTM) as Paul often refers to her in his columns in the Cincinnati Enquirer. Jillian charged into this world, in a hurry and full of opinions and with her eyes looking at and seemingly taking in everything around her. Perhaps that was a sign, or should have been, that this extraordinary little girl was ready to jump in head first to all the world had to offer. Jillian learned to do most everything that the other children did, much of the time it just took longer, sometimes a lot longer.
But Paul and Kerry persevered. There were times when they had no more to give, when they wondered if maybe the system was right about Jillian. But then would come that small victory, that triumph and the joyful look on Jillian’s angelic face, that reinforced what they had hoped – that Jillian could be more, that she could achieve more than the world around her believed possible.
Jillian’s unrelenting determination and her vibrant spirit, made those long days (and evenings) studying worth it. Her determination helped fuel theirs. Jillian would ride a bicycle, she would graduate high school and she would go to college. And Jillian would find love too, with her “favorite boy”, Ryan. They are to be married later this month. I bet there won’t be a dry eye in the house. I bet Jillian herself will be “happy-crying”.
It becomes clear throughout the book that Jillian brings out the best (sometimes the worst) in those around her. People see in her many of the things in her that they would like to see in themselves –innocence, trust, kindness, happiness and spontaneous bursts of laughter and joy. Whether by circumstance or not, Jillian’s life is a simple one. It is filled with small victories every day. Jillian’s is truly is an uncomplicated life. But it is also one that is enriching to her and to so many of people around her.
Throughout this book, Jillian, along with Paul, Kerry and Kelly has given me more faith in people and many more examples of the triumph of the human spirit. Thank you Paul, for sharing that experience with me.
Do yourself a favor. Read this book. I suspect you will get many of the same rewards from doing so as I have!
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Tough Guy Down
By john baskin
I once edited a collection of Paul Daugherty’s columns in which I wrote that 'Daugherty is a tough guy; his aggressively democratic-with-a-small-d pieces have a no-nonsense, blue-collar sensibility, spiked with a streak of irreverence.' That, of course, is what brings in his many fans (and the occasional death threat). But if you want to see the OTHER guy behind The Guy, read his new book, 'An Uncomplicated Life,' the story of a father (and mother) raising a child with Down Syndrome. Here, he’s Tough Guy Down, relating, in his usual straightforward manner, family life with Jillian, the little dynamo who’s the book’s heroine. Doc always had the ear of a good reporter, and so his story deals with the medical issues, as well as the paradox of an education policy that says kids with disabilities must be educated while not providing the funding—and personnel—to do so. But the show here is the wit and ebullience of Jillian, who says to Paul as she’s being disciplined, 'You wanna piece of me, Daddy-o?' Or Jillian dialing 911 for an emergency, which is that’s she’s out of chocolate milk. Paul’s always been one of the best sportswriters in the country, but Jillian is his—and Kerry’s—best work. Read the book.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Amazing Read!
By Lois Plone
I first saw the authors letter to his daughter on her wedding day on social media and thought, "wow what a wonderful father!" I then saw that he wrote a book about his exceptional daughter and I thought, "if this is anything like his letter I'm sure I will love it." Paul did not disappoint!
You go through this family's journey and struggle for the rights that every child has but for some reason was a fight for their dear Jillian. I feel as though I know them all so well since reading this book. I laughed, cried, love and hated through this whole story! It was the greatest journey I have ever been on and I will be reading it again! My only negative thing about the book was it ended:-( I would so love to read more of this amazing family and my new favorite young woman, Jillian!
Since reading this book I have posted about it on social media and I even accosted people in Barnes and Noble telling them all about this amazing book and that their life is not complete until they read it!
To say I am a big fan is an understatement. I would easily give it 100 stars if I could. Thank you for sharing your story.
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